Molly had her first dentist appointment about a month back, and the dentist asked, “Does she suck her thumb, or a pacifier, or something?” “Yes…” I said sheepishly. (She’s my baby! She’s only 3!! She’s only allowed to have it in bed!!
I’M SHE’S NOT READY!!). “Hmmm…”
Dentist’s orders: The noonie’s* number’s up.
Ben finished with noonies when he was 2. We had a baby on the way and explained that noonies were for babies and we packed up all but one to “give” to a friend who had a newborn. A few weeks later Ben lost that last one and that was that (aside from the race to find the lost noonie before he did).
Molly seemed to take the news pretty well at the dentist’s office, but it turned out she was still processing it. When we talked about it that night, she made a compelling case for continued noonie use, asking, “But if I don’t have noonies anymore, then what will I put in my mouth when I’m sleeping? So I need to keep my noonies so I can have something to put in my mouth while I’m sleeping.”
I countered by telling her about the Noonie Fairy, who comes when you’re ready to be old enough for no noonies and takes your noonies to new babies and leaves a present in their place. Molly accepted my terms but proposed a deferred timeline. “Okay. We will tell the Noonie Fairy to come and get my noonies. But not yet,” and every bedtime since then has included the dialogue, “But the Noonie Fairy isn’t coming today, right? Because I don’t want no noonies yet.”
In retrospect, I probably should have just gone with the “bandaid-yanking-off” method the dentist suggested.
Back to last Friday night: Molly was standing in the bathroom, noonie-in-mouth, when I heard a soft “sploosh!” followed by a loud *GASP*. I glanced over to see Molly staring into the toilet bowl with a stricken expression, and faster than you can say, “OH GOD NO MONKEY DON’T PUT THAT BACK IN YOUR MOUTH!!” that was it – no more noonies.
Lots of tears (mostly Molly’s), scuggles**, a long story about a dragon, a fairy, and princess named Molly who dropped her noonie in the toilet and learned that it’s okay to do things differently from the way you’ve always done them, and just maybe one verse of “No-more-noonie-day for Molly! No-more-noonie-day for Molly! No-more-noonie-day for Molly! ‘Cause she’s big enough for no more noonies!” to the tune of Happy Birthday followed before she finally fell asleep noonie-less.
In the morning, Ben and Molly awoke to find presents and notes from the Noonie Fairy (she was sorry to hear the news about Molly’s noonie/toilet tragedy and realized to her dismay that she had never celebrated Ben’s noonie-less-ness).
Molly was delighted, but Ben was suspicious and whispered, “Mommy, did the noonie fairy really bring this stuff? Are you sure it wasn’t you or daddy?” I whispered back (remarkably calmly, I thought), “Of course, bud…why do you ask?” to which Ben replied, “I just don’t know how a tiny fairy could possibly carry all these big things!”
*Noonie = pacifier. Don’t ask.
**Scuggles = snuggles + cuddles. Don’t ask.
How old were your kids when they gave up pacifiers? How did you do it?